Run
by Vanessa S. Quest
Summary: Well... it's 16 pages 10 font and yet I really have no way to summarize- it's different style wise compared to ANYTHING I have ever wrote... but, gh... odd. For MEP!


Run by Vanessa S. Quest  
  
Dedications: MEP- you asked for it, so this shame falls on your head.  
  
A/N: I want to get some WK doujinshi of Omi x Ran *sniffles*  
  
Disclaimers: I own nothing JQ; the closest thing I have to rites to anything published isn't published yet. Sooooo- I'm a poor college student, please do not sue me I'm cute!  
  
Archival Rites: Suze, ff.net, anyone- just so long as I know where it is and get a link I don't care where this goes.  
  
WITHOUT FURTHER ADIEU!  
  
Run*Run*Run*Run*Run*Run*Run*Run*Run*Run*Run*Run*Run*Run*Run*Run*Run*Run*Run* Run  
  
Everything seemed so wrong, the entire day an aura, some ominous presence just dictated that a problem too big to solve with words loomed overhead waiting to pounce. If only the answer could come, some magic wand to make this air wash past to let the day be normal or even happy! That was wishful thinking, how could things be normal for him ever again? And happy? Did he even have the right to understand that word let alone use it? A boy like him should be happy- well, pleased at bare minimal. His father was extravagantly wealthy and by all justifications could buy away any pain if he asked. But that burden of power was sickening too. All that money with them and people in the same town were going on welfare and still couldn't make ends meet, children in foreign lands malnourished while he could help himself to the finest meals from all around the world on any given day of the week.  
  
No, his mind was wondering off of the case at hand. How dare he invoke the right to suffer? He *had* things that could make pains go away, why couldn't he be content with that? Well he would be! Damn it, he'd be that way and smile through the day even if he didn't want to because he shouldn't have the right to not smile and claim suffering while others had every right to claim misery only to truly know smiles and happiness for life. This air, it was doing this to him! IT was making him unhappy; he was normally upbeat and optimistic so why couldn't he be it now? It was that damn aura making his mood sour but WHY was that strangeness there?  
  
He fastened his sneaker laces and tugged at his jogging pants to make them rest evenly. He stretched his back up straight into the air, arms over his head to loosen each taut muscle. He stretched his legs and started a paced walk. Hitting the corner of the property he started to jog, by time he gotten half a mile down I-1 he was in a full fledged run, sprinting for peaks and slowing to an aggressive jog for lows.  
  
He ran for minutes that stretched to hours, and finally coming to realize he was spent also came to realize he was halfway through town, excellent! He could grab something to munch on in the diner, rest for a little and then power-walk home.  
  
His goldenrod hair stuck to the corners of his face as sweat and heat blended with his skin. The fabric of his pants seemed to form a second layer of skin, sticky from his perspiration. He was glad Mama S's Diner had an immaculate bathroom area, truckers normally came from miles to use the facilities on long hauls.  
  
Jonny stretched his legs careful to keep them moving just enough to cool down but not knot up. He walked through the glass doors and up to Mama S, alias Stephy. Her mousy brown hair looked meek whenever it was done up into a clip, but once she let her hair down you could see the beauty of the 30- something woman who dreamed of running a five star restaurant by age 40.  
  
Everyone in that area of Portland knew it would be an easy step cuisine wise, but the money it would take to start constructions just wasn't easy to come by. Collections were held once in a while by patron truckers and it always went into the bank but she was still a good 10K away from the prize.  
  
"Hey, Stephy, can I get my usual spot in the back? I just need to wash up before I sit down to eat."  
  
She smiled, "Sure thing, Jonny. What can I get you to eat?"  
  
Jonny shrugged, "Soup of the day?" It was a well-understood question to Stephy.  
  
"It's Crab Bisque." Jonny nodded. "Want me to get you a bagel too?"  
  
He smiled at that, he never really thought of himself as a patron- but once she had your regulars memorized that's what you were. "And a root beer please."  
  
"Course, honey, could I ever forget that? No, I didn't think so." Jonny smiled. "There's that heart-warming smile I was missing! Is something the matter, Jonny?"  
  
He shrugged, "I'm just. deep in thought today. Some stuff just feels wrong but hard to place."  
  
She nodded her understanding, "Is this about that girl you like?"  
  
Jonny blushed, "Nothing so simple, I wish though."  
  
"Alright, well wash up- you're stinking up the joint."  
  
Jonny laughed as he walked to the 5-star bathroom.  
  
Inside the pristine bathroom, he spotted the complimentary soap and towel, quickly setting off to wash his face, arms and any other sweaty-sticky spot he could reach in good conscience in a public washroom. He rinsed off the suds on his face and arms with a new towel, rinsing the suds from it in the sink. He placed the towels into the 'used' hamper and inserted a five- dollar bill into the 'Tips' slot in the wall. The mechanisms to the tip- slot were kind of simple to understand, the money slides down a ramp, makes a straight fall, and slides down a second ramp until it hits another drop that collected it at the bottom, right inside the kitchen safe.  
  
Jonny walked back out of the washroom and made his way towards the back of the slightly packed diner. His food came only a minute after he sat down, the soda sweating with condensation on the body of the tall glass.  
  
Jonny set to work buttering his toasted garlic and onion bagel, spooning the hot, tasty soup into his mouth between bites of perfectly done bagels.  
  
Within twenty minutes he was satiated and left to the counter with his appetite quelled.  
  
"Total comes to $4.95, honey."  
  
Jonny handed her a twenty and left, "Put some of that towards the restaurant." He waved at the door, fixing his shoes again before he started a light jog.  
  
Can't*Stop*Can't*Stop* Can't*Stop* Can't*Stop* Can't*Stop* Can't*Stop* Can't*Stop* Can't*Stop*  
  
Race looked at the clock in the main living room. The silence in the house was deafening, Jonny was on one of his legendary power-jogs. The kind he seemed to lose himself in for hours on end and come back completely spent- emotionally and physically. It wasn't strange for Jonny to take up a run after a rough day at school or an argument; it was his healthy way of escaping. Run until the anger goes away. Race sighed, he didn't even notice Jonny was upset today but apparently he was upset enough to go.  
  
Thank the heavens Jonny was just considerate to leave a note about this, everyone would be worried sick if Jonny just disappeared for several hours and then just showed up. He couldn't even tell if Jonny'd first run into his dad, himself, or several FBI agents looking for clues on the missing Quest kid if Jonny forgot to tell someone about it.  
  
Can't*Stop* Can't*Stop* Can't*Stop* Can't*Stop* Can't*Stop* Can't*Stop* Can't*Stop* Can't*Stop*  
  
Jonny started down the main street again it was time to head home.  
  
But that aura- it was still there, still bothering him.  
  
He kept his pace slow, giving himself ample time to warm up after the light meal. As he rounded his first corner to lead through town several cars moved under the traffic light, nothing that would scream for attention- but one car caught his gaze for a moment, that aura. What could it be? The dark blue Buick drove past Jonny, turning down the street Jonny had just come down.  
  
He shrugged off the feeling and began to jog a heavier pace moving down the next few blocks.  
  
Again! Again that feeling was around him. He turned to look around to see if something was irritating it, if his mind sensed something or was just making things up. Seeing nothing, he turned his head back around, only to catch the tail ends of a dark blue Buick heading down his turn.  
  
Jonny swallowed. It could be just a coincidence, right?  
  
After twenty minutes without sighting or incidents Jonny began to breath a slight sigh in relief. It had to be his imagination; everything seemed to be calming now even that aura that kept pecking at him, pecking at the back of his neck seemed gone now. Or at least it was quieter, that constant nervousness was quick to any harsh sound or sudden flash. He took a deep breathe through his nose and forced the air out of his mouth, another two miles and he'd be back home.  
  
The woods along I-1 were really quite taking. As he let his mind wander into the meditative nature of the serene forest he didn't notice the dark blue Buick reduce its speed to keep pace with him.  
  
The driver through his spent cigarette in front of Jonny with a bit of leverage, Jonny watched the red smoldering ash fly past his nose and wondered where it had originated from. A brief flash and his eyes met those of a familiar stranger masked by sunglasses, a hat and a load of dark shadows Jonny's heart jumped into a high-speed tizzy.  
  
Jonny made eye contact with the shades for no longer than a second but knew that his strange feeling all day originated from that man, that car, and that danger. He broke off of the road, in hindsight a foolish thing to do, bobbing and weaving through the woods he had so learned as an adolescent.  
  
Though his knowledge of the land was a great benefit, he was the disadvantaged of the teams- he who had been running for hours on end, he who knew only one man when the car could house several, he who would not be able to identify foes because of said factor. He realized how stupid it was to take off through the woods, maybe they were harmless and his instincts off? But even if not that, they could have jumped him any time they were tailing him- if that was what they were doing- the fact that they didn't try to take him out in the public eye should have kept him in the public eye, or at least where someone would hear his screams.  
  
But NOOOOOOOOOOOO Jonny had to run for the woods. His mind swore at his legs for their temporary act of rebellion. Jonny glanced back behind him every few steps to check for signs of anyone following him. He slowed his pace seeing none and felt idiotic. 'Way to run from shadows, Quest.' Jonny started to think to himself.  
  
He would have carried the thought farther if he hadn't stumbled into the middle of an ambush. Ten people dressed in fatigues and camouflage sprung out all around him.  
  
Jonny gulped and let out the appropriate response of, "Oh shit. Quest- you idiot."  
  
He took fighting stance knowing the inevitable attack had to be lying ready to pounce and strike him in the head.  
  
"Who are you! What do you want!" Jonny's voice was authoritative and firm he had to make sure his voice didn't sound winded, not let them know how easy he'd cave in a fight if it came to it.  
  
They all smiled, shifting their heads to look at him in fascination. Jonny swallowed back an uneasy gulp. 'What the hell is going on?'  
  
"Tell me!"  
  
Some of the braver trudged forward, knees buckling, their joints seemed to act like puppets dangling from strings being told to dance. Jerky elbows propped up arms with sloping wrists, hands raised as if touching some field around Jonny.  
  
Jonny dug his fore foot into the ground nervously. He rose to his toes on his hind foot ready to spring into a dash or kick, whichever proved necessary first.  
  
"TELL ME!"  
  
A deprived smile twisted along the edges of the closest one's mouth. Jonny's mind was racing with foreign words and thoughts.  
  
//Are you lonely.//  
  
||You feel empty.||  
  
!!We understand you!!  
  
Jonny grabbed at his head with one hand, the wave of thoughts causing a searing pain, "How. how are you in my head!? Get out of MY MIND!" His voice trilled into a scream as the digging pressed forward.  
  
//Does the world keep going are you leave, do you ever ask yourself that//  
  
||We want to fill your void||  
  
//Don't you have questions, questions no one can answer//  
  
!!We can help you answer!!  
  
//Won't you join us//  
  
||Join us, yes||  
  
!!We need you, you want to be needed, you want to help the needed!!  
  
Jonny's pupils shrank at each new strand of foreign dialog, "How are you in my mind? Make it stop. make it stop!" He pressed his hands over his eyes, legs buckling. "Who are you?" His eyes were on the verge of tears.  
  
||We are the lonely that wish to find fulfillment||  
  
!!We are the many seeking to be the one!!  
  
//Don't you want to be one of us//  
  
//Don't you want to belong//  
  
"Tell me who you are, tell me now!"  
  
||We are the everythingness that searches for the nothingness||  
  
"What are you saying?"  
  
!!We are the whole that misses its void!!  
  
"I don't understand!" Jonny's voice started cutting out, red warmth streamed down his nose and over his lips and chin, the coppery taste and feeling of heat informing him he was bleeding.  
  
//Don't you//  
  
Jonny closed his eyes, what were they saying? It all sounded- felt like clattering trains, but each word- thought relayed images, deafening images. How could pictures be deafening? What were they doing to him?  
  
||You are the void we need to fill us, to make us the all||  
  
"I AM NOT A VOID!"  
  
//Are you sure//  
  
!!Can he really be, he feels it all the time!!  
  
//Do you feel empty//  
  
||Never knowing his purpose but always feeling a part of great importance||  
  
"I am NOT void! I am a HUMAN BEING! I HAVE feelings, a soul."  
  
One of the 'men' ventured to put a hand on his shoulder. Jonny looked at it, wide eyed with anger.  
  
The hand dissolved away and like an infection spread through the 'man's' body and in an instant, he was gone. "I am not a void."  
  
The remaining nine reached for Jonny.  
  
//Won't you fill us//  
  
!!FILL US!!  
  
::Fill US::  
  
--Take up our bodies--  
  
^^Fill me^^  
  
..Make me empty..  
  
#Fill us#  
  
)(Complete us)(  
  
~Mark us~  
  
Jonny screamed as he ran through the thick of the crowd, the men colliding with him befalling the same fate at the first.  
  
The blond boy took off into a full on sprint as he ran as fast and long as his legs could let him go. He broke through the seal of trees and dropped to the ground, collapsing onto his knees at the side of the road. He panted and wiped at his nose and eyes trying to wipe away all the moisture. He saw the blood smear across the back of his palms.  
  
What was going on?! Why couldn't he understand?  
  
//Will you complete us with your void//  
  
Jonny's eyes shot wide and he stood onto his rubber legs. This was a dream, some sick joke, something had to explain this logically. With a fierce determination he ran towards his home, to his father, to any answers he could find. Too bad he didn't realize just how much blood he was leaving behind.  
  
Wake*Me*If*I'm*Dreaming* Wake*Me*If*I'm*Dreaming* Wake*Me*If*I'm*Dreaming* Wake*Me*  
  
The boy's eyes widened and he took in stabbing, jagged breaths.  
  
"Easy there kiddo!" Race. Instantly a safe feeling washed over him. "Jonny, how're you feeling?" The albino man was already hovering.  
  
"What happened? Where am I?" Jonny's skittish hands rose to confirm their presence and abilities. His voice came out scratchy, the words jumbling and breaking.  
  
"Wh.t .pened? W.re.m.I?"  
  
"Jonny, calm down. Let me get your dad and a doctor, then we'll tell you everything we know." Race looked over Jonny with a sympathetic eye, "Have some water, your voice is scratchy."  
  
Jonny watched his hands in fascination, the palms, the backs. He had wiped his blood over them yet now not even a trace lay behind! It made no sense, none of this did. The whole day seemed like a vagueness, a hole.  
  
//A void// That damning questioned thought. Jonny held his head. Was this all a dream to comfort him? Or was everything that happened prior the dream? Maybe they both were and he still lie trapped in some unholy sleep, maybe.  
  
Jonny sipped at the water, "What happened?"  
  
Dr. Quest threw his arms over Jonny after his ten pace race to Jonny's bedside. His arms quickly nestled around Jonny's back and fingers through his hair and sleeves.  
  
"What happened?" Jonny asked a second time, noticeably less comfortable at the sudden physical presence of his father.  
  
"Thank goodness you're awake Jonny!"  
  
He couldn't tell, but. it sounded like his dad was crying? He pulled back enough to separate himself from his father and look him in the eyes. "What's going on? Dad? What happened?"  
  
Race put a strong hand on Dr. Quest's shoulder informing him now would be the time if any.  
  
"You." Dr. Quest's voice broke instantly at the thought of giving his son a recollection of the incidents.  
  
Race looked at the berate man, "Benton, do you want me to tell him?"  
  
Dr. Quest nodded once, his strength seemed to be slipping.  
  
"How much do you remember Jonny?"  
  
Jonny's eyebrow raised, that was a funny question. "What do you mean? What is there to remember? Race what's going on!"  
  
Upon receiving a long silence, Jonny strained his mind to think back, "I remember. going for a run. eating at Mama S's Diner." Jonny touched his fingers to his head, propping his elbow on the mattress below him, "Starting back. a dark blue Buick. a man with shades. a cigarette." Jonny closed his eyes for a moment, his hand firmly planted on his forehead, "Running into the woods. panic. smells. smells but I can't place them. a clearing. and then. these things in my mind. void. blood. back on the road. trying to run home. and then this. Now. What happened?"  
  
The doctor looked back from Race and Dr. Quest then Jonny. An awkward silence, that Jonny supposed was to be a collective silence filled the room.  
  
Race and Dr. Quest started at the same instant.  
  
"Maybe we shouldn't tell him."  
  
"Jonny you were attacked."  
  
Jonny tried to sort the meshing words. He looked to Race, Race wouldn't try to protect him with the ignorance technique.  
  
Dr. Quest bowed his head in relent, Race continued. "Is that all you remember? You've been missing for a little over a week."  
  
Jonny touched his hand to his temple, "A week?" his brows furrowed trying to think of the significance. "A week." Nothing, no recollection of any of this, it felt like he was watching a movie in some foreign language and not seeing any subtitles to fill in the blanks.  
  
"A State Trooper found you unconscious on the side of a road and brought you in. We got here as soon as we could and you woke up a few hours later." Race continued.  
  
Dr. Quest added, "From the looks of it, you were being held underground." He choked back any excess emotions, he had to be scientific about this, for Jonny's sake. He needed his father to at least appear strong. "The police found a shelter in the woods after tracing back your steps. From what the officer said it looks like you were being kept there for a couple of days if not the entire week."  
  
All foreign, the words they didn't make sense. Kidnapped? Gone for a week? Why couldn't he remember any of this?  
  
"I. I'm sorry. I don't remember any of this, dad. Are you sure?"  
  
Dr. Quest nodded but once.  
  
"From where? Were there witnesses? A search?" Jonny tried searching his mind for a possible answer, nothing was making sense and these random thoughts were causing his head to spin.  
  
"Yes." Race said.  
  
".Yes what? All three? Then who?"  
  
Race lowered his head.  
  
Jonny turned to face his father, "Who saw it? Why does it matter.? What happened.? .Where're Jessie and Hadji?"  
  
A slow realization, "Oh my god, are they alright?!"  
  
Dr. Quest glanced up and down him for a moment, "They're in better shape than you." He looked away from Jonny's panicked gaze.  
  
"What happened!? Tell me now! Dad! DAD! Race! Someone tell me what happened!"  
  
If*I*Die* If*I*Die* If*I*Die* If*I*Die* If*I*Die* If*I*Die* If*I*Die* If*I*Die* If*I*Die* If*I*Die*  
  
Jonny's eyes shot open, his nose was gushing again. His hands clapped over his face, he rocked back and forth. These nightmares, what was going on?!  
  
Saline fell past his eyes in grainy paths, he'd been crying for a while yet he remembered none of it. Blood, salt, tears, yet all of these were hollow. He felt no pain, bore no memories of happenings, held no understandings.  
  
He opened his mouth wide, shouting all his air yet not even a gurgle was emitted. He dug his nails into his hair, his elbows threw shadows over his face his eyes shrank back in his head.  
  
He felt. He felt. He felt nothing no pain, no sensation, only a fear a constant fear. He tried to scream again and the sound still lingered underneath the surface. He felt like this sound was his sanity and it was stolen away!  
  
//Are you void//  
  
'Stop it stop it stop it!'  
  
His surroundings were mere lapses of dark over less dark forming a labyrinth of nothings. His breaths, his own air revolted from him, making him wonder if he was deaf. The pictures were deafening. maybe he really was?  
  
Soft sounds of wind stirred out of reach, too far away to be felt. The wind refused to comfort him, just settle him that he was the soundless one, he was the insane one, he was the strange one, he was the disease.  
  
'No! No, I'm not! I'm me. I'm me.' Jonny started rocking himself he pushed his hands over his neck and face, his rough touch a constant reminder that he was alive somewhere, in some nightmarish world, some hidden hell.  
  
"YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGR!" Jonny screamed, the suddenness of his voice caused him to take in a sharp gasp. His fingers lingered softly over his wet lips as fascination grew. His fingers spread open over his face, over his eyes breaking up the image of the labyrinth as he lowered his shaking hands, the shadows of the maze fell. He could see his surroundings. A box. A shit-hole box with no distinctive walls, everything was dirt and dark and somehow he knew he was buried.  
  
'Where? Where? Where?' He rocked as he asked. 'Where is up, where is down? When? What time? How long?'  
  
He felt ready to vomit. He clawed at the earth until his nails felt ready to break loose of his hands and then still he wanted to dig.  
  
Those dreams- what was real? What were lies? What were memories? What? WHAT!  
  
..Dreams*May*Come* Dreams*May*Come* Dreams*May*Come* Dreams*May*Come* Dreams*May..  
  
"Where is he? What have you done with my son!?" The phone line disconnected. Dr. Quest looked down at the table and turned to face Race.  
  
Race rewound the message and played it.  
  
"Two weeks until a person will break. What is left are pieces, a shell that the void can take. We are whole, you are none. We have got him, taken your son."  
  
Jessie and Hadji looked to each other, then back at Race.  
  
"Tell me again- what exactly did you remember seeing?"  
  
Before*I*Wake* Before*I*Wake* Before*I*Wake* Before*I*Wake* Before*I*Wake* Before*I*Wake*  
  
His vision was blurring, or so he thought. This. hole. how could you tell? There was no real light in it, yet in the beginning he could distinguish the shades of black. Now, now those edges were smearing away, almost to the point of a constant solid dark. He felt like he was falling, falling forever and had grown so used to the motion that he was floating in blackness.  
  
He leaned his head back, or what he could only assume was back. His mouth parted while his eyes were half-folded slits. His hair absorbed the moistness of the dirt.  
  
'Make it stop.'  
  
!!Aren't you used to the void, it's how your heart feels!!  
  
'MAKE IT STOP!'  
  
//Can't you//  
  
'Damn you stop messing with my mind, what's real?!'  
  
~I won't tell if you won't~  
  
Jonny closed his eyes to wrap himself in a trance he could pretend was sleep. Could he really tell though? As dark as this place was, maybe he had been asleep and still hadn't waken up yet?  
  
//Don't you feel the pain//  
  
//Don't you feel alone//  
  
!!You wouldn't feel pain if you weren't awake!!  
  
//Don't you know this is really your life//  
  
'How can you say I feel pain?'  
  
!!Because your heart aches, even in dreams only so much pain will come!!  
  
"LET ME GO! Whoever you are. let me go! Please. please answer me. explain to me."  
  
//Why should we tell you what you should already know//  
  
~He's avoiding it, coward~  
  
Minds*Eye*Closed* Minds*Eye*Open* Minds*Eye*Closed* Minds*Eye*Open* Minds*Eye*Closed*  
  
Warmth, on his skin, he knew he was smiling knew he felt joy. He couldn't open his eyes to see it, it was like he was only allowed this much in a dream because reality would wait if he let his eyes blink into awareness and tell him he was back in the darkness. Back with THEM. He could live this lie in this dream, this warmth. Couldn't he? Couldn't he lie to himself and just escape forever?  
  
His own mind started chipping the image away, telling him to face the pain and find his answers and not ignore the dark. As if to tell him if he kept avoiding the dark it would grow until it swallowed him even inside this bubble of fake happiness. He had to wake up before his mind fell apart into an emptiness that waited just outside, that *could* wait and had the patience to do so.  
  
He remembered what one of the voices had said, realization hitting him slowly. Those voices weren't foreign, were they?  
  
!!Only as foreign as you!!  
  
They were a part of him, weren't they?  
  
//Have you figured it out//  
  
Parts of him. but why couldn't he remember? Why were they so far apart, why were they scaring him?  
  
~They say ignorance is bliss, is that true~  
  
//Are you in bliss//  
  
//Or are the questions your mind knows it must ask driving you ill//  
  
He shot open his eyes, letting the dark fill his sight, taking in each muffled corner, he felt along for contours. He had to have been in there for a while, and somehow his mind kept telling him a week, so maybe he was keeping track somehow? And maybe just blocking each part out as it got more painful?  
  
~Do you still hear the wind~  
  
That was it! There HAD to be fresh air, his mind had just been giving him clues so he could digest it all and free himself- but why the image in the hospital? Was that some weird way of being optimistic or hopeful?  
  
His hand located a pipe. That explained the light at least, any light as small as it may be that fell into the tube would alter the shadows; he wasn't losing his vision or his mind! He was finding it.  
  
Jonny started prying at the soft dirt around the pipe, small flakes fell onto his stomach, the more he dug the larger the globs of dirt became until he hit a full frenzy of digging and had made a six-inch wide hole that reached the surface. Jonny took in a lengthy breath of the sweet, sweet air.  
  
His fingers made themselves into probes, his arms thrusting as much loose dirt up from the hole as possible until it was eight inches around in diameter. Jonny wanted to get out, but he knew he couldn't squeeze himself through an opening that small. He had to be patient, to hope no one saw him. More dirt, he pushed it out more and more, and more fell on him making him feel as if he was buried alive. Just as the opening was large enough for him to slide through, droplets of humidity started to fall.  
  
'What happened? How did I get in there? I know I saw it. but I can't remember it. why not?'  
  
He closed his eyes trying to clear himself from distraction but the wind felt so good on his skin! A coldness but a good feeling all the same as the wind blanketed him. He could imagine his breath forming small wispy clouds of ice. It really was cold, he decided, a bit too cold to be outside without the proper weather equipment, which as far as he COULD remember he did not have on.  
  
He looked down at himself, this was something he needed to figure out. Had he been lying in those dreams, or had he really gone for a run and just blacked out the rest?  
  
Nylon-cotton parts, a fitted t-shirt- white surprisingly enough, white socks, sneakers. No, the dream was based on some truth amazingly. He noticed the condition of the clothing, blood stained into his chest and small cuts and grass stains ran along the rest of the white fabric. Maybe that was the smell?  
  
He looked at the state of his pants, small cuts that looked to be from snags ran all the way up his leg until mid-thigh.  
  
'I ran through some heavy brush. maybe jumping over some down trees.' He started to gather. Memories started to release telling him parts he would never be able to piece.  
  
'I was tired and sore, I lost footing and slipped.'  
  
Jonny started to stumble forward, he rubbed his arms to add some friction and keep any façade of warmth.  
  
'Hands. and water. holding me under. can't breath. can't breath. running. can't breath.'  
  
Jonny's left hand instinctively covered his left eye as he winced at the mental pain. 'Couldn't breath. being chased. following me. hunting. pain. no noise. everything was blurring away. no face. No face, I saw no face!'  
  
Whirling sounds of forced wind and blurring streaks of light pulled him farther and farther from the dim area and closer to the bustling street.  
  
"I didn't see them. but I knew. I knew and I couldn't get away."  
  
Jonny dropped to his knees, a new string of sorrowful tears washed down his face as his lips curled at the corners into a distraught, open-mouthed, broken grimace. Cries of the injured filled the air as his wail hit notes both high and low at the same time.  
  
"Why didn't I look! Why didn't I see! Why! WHY?! EEYAAHHHHHHH Hahn, hahn!"  
  
He started to drag himself towards the street only mere meters away, he couldn't give up now. If he gave up to the void he'd never have answers and he needed his answers, his solutions.  
  
//Have you figured it out yet//  
  
'No.'  
  
//Have you learned why yet//  
  
"No!"  
  
//Have you given up yet//  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Jonny collapsed on the shoulder of the road ducking his face into his stomach, one arm thrown limply into the road, one arm lying across his stomach that gurgled with an unspoken level of queasiness. His knees were bent slightly, his back arched as he faced the road his face contorted into a painful shape.  
  
"Why? Why? What happened? Why can't I remember?"  
  
~Do you still feel the aura~  
  
Jonny swallowed back, 'please don't haunt me, not now. No. I don't feel. not safe or endangered, I just don't feel.'  
  
//Are you going to quit//  
  
"No."  
  
A van pulled to the side of the road and the sight of the crumpled body.  
  
Within minutes, a helicopter and several squad cars lined the area, a phone call being ready to be made the instant the boy's identity confirmed.  
  
"Mark, your son TK is a friend of Quest's boy, Jonny, right?"  
  
Mark nodded, "Why? Do they think the John Doe is him?"  
  
"We aren't for sure, but he matches the description- down to what he's wearing."  
  
"I'll check- don't call Benton until I say, I'd hate to get his hopes up if he's not the right boy."  
  
Never*Give*Up* Never*Give*In* Never*Give*Up* Never*Give*In* Never*Give*Up* Never*Give*In  
  
His eyes refocused, this place seemed bright. Too bright given his enormous headache, he bit back his urge to yelp when he let his eyelids slide open.  
  
"Jonny! You're awake!" Race looked Jonny over twice. "Kiddo, can you hear me?"  
  
"N.nh. whe.e.m. I? Wha.h.pital."  
  
"I'll answer all your questions once I get the doctor and your dad in here." Race paused before rushing from the room. He took a glass and filled it with cool water, "Kiddo, take a drink of some water."  
  
Jonny reached to take the glass, the sharp pain of remembering everything was a dream stopped him from that pursuit. Instead he grabbed Race's hand. "No. teh. me. wha.ppened? Whe.e am.I?"  
  
Race sat the glass back down and looked at Jonny, he really seemed more determined than curious, and more scared then confused.  
  
"You're in a hospital, you were brought in today- you were missing for a week."  
  
Jonny's pupils shrank in terror, no not again please not again! "Tell me." Adrenalin ran through him with terrifying clarity, his heart rate raised several beats, "Am I dreaming?! Am I still in that. that hole or am I out of it! Tell me TELL ME NOW!" His voice rang through the entire room but he would not regret the scream he made, he refused, even if the ringing in his ears pulsated he was determined to know, he was resolute to find the truth this time. He clenched and released his fists into the sheets of the bed.  
  
"Jon.ny." Race put a protective hand over Jonny's bawled fist. "You're in the hospital. Let me get your dad."  
  
Jonny curled his hand upward, until his hand was turned over in a rather uncomfortable position, gripping Race's hand, lacing his fingers with Race's.  
  
"Hadji. and Jessie. before you leave, are they alright?"  
  
Race looked him over, "Physically, yeah. I'm sure everyone will be a lot better once we find out what happened."  
  
Jonny bowed his head, "I don't know if I have those answers."  
  
Race was out of the door by time the soft response past through Jonny's newly developed meek position.  
  
*Why*Can't*Someone*Save*Me* Why*Can't*Someone*Save*Me* Why*Can't*Someone*Save*Me*  
  
Smothering. Just like in that goddamn brain-fuck his dad was smothering him. He knew he shouldn't feel so much malice but he couldn't help it, he had gone a week without the slightest touch, sound, word, taste, no stimuli besides smell and fear, and now that goddamn idiot of a father of his- who mind you had experience and degrees in psychology- was smothering him. He could barely stand it, and at times the urge to scream were too overwhelming and he had no choice but to do it.  
  
No answers. He still had no answers. Dr. Quest in all his wisdom thought it best to 'not talk about it' like that could make the feelings and hurt go away. No, not even knowledge could but ignorance would bring a second kind of pain. Jonny already knew enough about WHAT happened, but who and why were still some major pieces missing from his jigsaw puzzle life.  
  
He had cornered Race once, but he escaped with the excuse that he didn't know enough details to say, but Jessie and Hadji- they knew and he knew they knew. He just had to make them guilty enough to tell and innocent enough to actually talk to him.  
  
But how? Argh! All these fucking questions! Even those voices, those compartments were more helpful than these new lines of inquiry. He rubbed his head, he felt a migraine coming underway.  
  
Jessie stopped at the door to the kitchen, Jonny rarely walked about the house, understandably with how weak he must feel. She stepped behind Jonny causing his skin to rise in goose bumps at the unknown body. Jonny swallowed back once he smelled Jessie's normal scent of perfume and deodorant. ".J.Jes.sie?"  
  
He still had to ask, as stupid as it was he was still having waking nightmares of an unfamiliar body with no face just pounce him from behind, and she was really close behind him, making his skin grow cold with the slimy sweat of fear associated with those dreams, those nightmares.  
  
"Jonny. it's me."  
  
His shoulders lowered from their spiked position, "Jessie. I can't sleep anymore." He lowered his head towards the kitchen counter propping the most of his weight on his elbows, he could see two little drops appear mysteriously on the counter under his face, growing every few moments sporadically. "I. keep seeing someone run at me. I feel them behind me, and I run. and then I fall. and I turn around and see their face only the face is never there. and then the dream repeats. but the body is different this time. I know you and Hadji saw something, I don't know how or why I know but I *know* you know. I'm begging you. invoking any feeling you have for me. please tell me. Please tell me what happened to me so I can rest!"  
  
Jessie held back her sob, she couldn't hold back her arms though. She flung them around Jonny's waist feeling him clench under then foreign touch.  
  
She wished, she wished so hard she could have stopped him, she and Hadji had both been too far away though. They had gone out for a walk and planned on waiting for Jonny to ask him if he wanted to go rent a movie with them. They walked down to I-1 when they saw Jonny on the horizon, but they doubted he could see them. He was still far away and they had been watching for him. The car stopping had surprised them, the tall man getting out to chase Jonny down had terrorized them though. They had ran after him, a good half mile before they realized they had no real way of fending him off, getting help, or catching up. Hadji had elected to chase after Jonny and Jessie to get her father- pronto.  
  
Her memory was only enough to say 'Tall white guy, bald head.' Hadji, Hadji though- he had gotten within a quarter mile at closest, he remembered, from what he told Dr. Quest, her dad, and herself, that he had seen the man leaned over into the water, holding Jonny down. He couldn't make out eye color but he could make of the linings of his face. Nothing noticeably distinguishable, but he had the face in his mind and the mannerisms.  
  
"Hadji might know."  
  
If*You*Learn*Will*It*Help* If*You*Learn*Will*It*Help* If*You*Learn*Will*It*Help* If*You*Learn*  
  
//Are you void yet//  
  
'Fuck off. Won't you let me absorb you into wholeness yet?'  
  
//Do you think you're ready for that//  
  
'If it'll give me the answers and shut YOU up.'  
  
//Aren't we the same though//  
  
'Smart ass.'  
  
Jonny hated these arguments with himself, and he knew that it was exactly that. He wanted to know but he also wanted to move on and so far ANSWERS were harder to come by compared to shutting down.  
  
~But if you shut down, he wins~  
  
'How do you come by that?'  
  
//Didn't faceless leave you to die//  
  
'Shut up you! I'm sick of your riddles- you ask questions and I KNOW you know the answers.'  
  
//Why would I have the answers//  
  
//And keep them from myself//  
  
"Grawr!" Jonny growled verbally, instantly regretting it while in Jessie's company.  
  
"What was that Jonny?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
//Why are you lying//  
  
'I don't want to argue with my head and my best friend at the same time for one reason, asshole.'  
  
~Do you want faceless to win~  
  
"He HAS a face! I just don't know it yet!" Jonny swore out loud angry at the racket in his mind, Jessie just blinked. He moaned a pitiful sound that pleaded without so many words that Jessie just NOT even ask or mention it.  
  
"Hadji gave descriptions to the composite sketch, the police are probably following that up. it seems like their best lead for identifying your attacker."  
  
"I know who attacked me. I just. can't remember." Jessie put her hand on Jonny's shoulder.  
  
//Are you sure you want me back inside you//  
  
'Ignorance isn't bliss. It never was.' Jonny looked down. "Jess, I'm going to try to go back to bed. Maybe my nightmares will jog back some memories."  
  
".Jonny." She sighed, "Good night. And Jonny."  
  
"Yeah Jess?"  
  
She squeezed his shoulder in a one-armed embrace.  
  
"I'm glad you're alive."  
  
*Nightmares* Dreams*Nightmares* Dreams*Nightmares* Dreams*Nightmares* Dreams* Nightmares*  
  
The sheets were hands, no longer cool fabric but hundreds of hands pushing- pulling- holding. Water. water, splashes over his face. cold. tired. dark.  
  
'He was trying to bury me.?'  
  
Jonny rolled his eyes at his own stupidity, 'No SHIT he was burying me. he put dirt over me. but he left an air hole.'  
  
'Or was it a looking window?'  
  
Tears welled up in his eyes. That had to be it! And he. he inadvertently destroyed any track of that man's footprints digging himself out.  
  
//Why should you be sad that you lived//  
  
For the first time Jonny cared to remember he liked that voice, the comfort was warm and he recognized that part of himself from long ago.  
  
'I still want to shut you up- eventually.'  
  
//Well, why wouldn't you want to//  
  
Jonny snorted, 'How do you always come up with questions?'  
  
//Why doesn't anyone ever answer them//  
  
Jonny closed his eyes tightly. "I'd like to. Really, I'd love to answer them."  
  
Jonny fell from the bed into a shaded man's chest.  
  
The voices quashed. 'Am I alone now?'  
  
Jonny looked around, he really wasn't sure if he could get used to mental tranquility again- well, mental quietness. The last irksome, prattling voice was gone now and that in it's own right was sad.  
  
He concentrated on the water again. Water houses reflections no matter how disturbed.  
  
A nose. long and fat, a bulb at the end. Varicose veins all over his cheeks. Eyes, his face was becoming a mosaic merging from a distorted collage back into a clear photograph- the image of his would be killer. Dark-blue eyes, his face had strange patterns, like a scar.  
  
But who? This stranger was familiar and strange. who?  
  
It hit him hard and suddenly. Clawing through his entire mind and he came to it that quickly. that man, what was his damn NAME!?  
  
Von Romme.  
  
'.I thought he was dead. I guess he thought the same?'  
  
Jonny slid up from his bed, if anyone knew about how to find and stop a dead man it was Race, after all- according to the Agency- he was one.  
  
*Finished* Finished* Finished* Finished* Finished* Finished* Finished* Finished* Finished* Finished*  
  
Dedications: MEP- here you go, now don't bug me again about fanfic for a year. ^_~ KIDDING Kidding.  
  
Special Thanks- Kayce, Carrie, thanks. Kayce, I got half of my inspiration from that song you sent me. Carrie, thanks for the words of encouragement!  
  
PS- If it sucked, sorry. I seriously had no plot in mind I just sat down and started to write- you'll all notice that I'm sure. ^_^ Night all! 1-20- 2004 Tuesday January 20, 2004, by Vanessa S. Quest. 


End file.
